A Small Deed Can Make A Huge Difference!

1 week ago I was still in doubt and confused about how churches desperately take money from people, how churches' wrong approach caused so many people to backslide. A few brothers sisters and myself were also discussing about the doubts and discomfort we have within the church and cell group. That was also the time when I stumbled on my giving, trust and love to the church. Furthermore, it is really sad when I hear people sharing their bad experiences in church, which affect their loyalty to the church, perception towards Christians and even their walk with God. Again, I know that we shall not be blinded by what men do. As a church is run by men, we have to be really focus and only look up upon God and not men.

One day, a sister invited me to serve in the dialect church. I agreed to it without hesitation and the night before I was feeling unwell, troubled by sorethroat and flu. I thought I could not make it this round and sent her a message to inform her. But before I sleep, I declared to God "In Jesus name, I am healed! In Jesus name, I am healed" Amen! The next day I woke up, I was lying on my bed feeling tired and still struggling whether to go or not. I think and think...finally God somehow gave me an "oomph" to get up from my bed and move! Guess what I was feeling so energetic after that. The morning church service by Rev Margaret Court was really awesome. Praise the Lord that many people were truly charged up listening to her sermon! After that I set off with a sister to start the work...

The process is really tiring. First we got to travel to a housing area to gather the elderly; communicate with them, persuade them to attend the church service and then help them get up the bus provided especially the elderly that have problem walking and climbing the stairs. Deep in my heart, I started saluting the sisters who selflessly serve the elderly every Sunday! It was drizzling that day and can you imagine if it's a hot sunny day or a heavy rain day? They still have to keep going! Having to know that most elderly only go for the sake of getting a pack of free rice... is sad... but having to know that what they do every week can make a difference just makes them keep going! As we reached the church, we have to bring the wheelchair elderly to the toilet and to the auditorium. Of course the same process goes after the service. Bringing them back safely to their homes and make sure everyone of them get a pack of rice!

It was my first Chinese service and pastors were preaching in Hokkien and Cantonese. We were praising and worshipping God in Chinese. A little unusual for me but I felt so close to God that moment. When I saw some elderly praying so hard with so much of emotions, so on fire for God... I felt so touched... that I really wanted to cry. Throughout the service I helped an elderly to the toilet and she was just so grateful to me that she kept saying "Thank You! Thank You!" Some elderly shared with me what they work as... and sadly a lot of them are really poor and still work hard even at an old age. One grannie was sharing with me how her sons and daughters abandon her and don't talk to her. She even asked me to be her goddaughter! :) There were so many people serving some attending to the elderly, some guarding the toilets, some even have to stay in the lift to be of service to the elderly anytime they need. Wow!!! Compared to them.. I felt that I am truly a nobody.

The sermon was very good and it really answered all my doubts! I burst into tears and just cried non stop. There and then, I know that whether the people have any bad intentions or not, my giving is still meant to be a blessing to many. And my giving is unto the Lord not the people and my giving will lead more people to be saved. I have to see things in a bigger picture always and I know whenever I can I must really do something for the Lord, for the needy. I was really blessed that day and I know God wanted me to just wake up and go! I don't deserve all His love but yet He loves me so much. I am a nobody compared to so many generous, kind and big hearted people in the world but God still loves me because He has made the difference in you and me for a purpose! Deep within my heart, I know I have made a difference in the elderly lives just within that few hours.

The Lord Has Spoken

Hello guys! It's been quite some time I didn't feel this joyful already... Came to know that whatever you have in your life i.e. money, relationship, career, ...just could not bring you the pure joy that God could. A little surprise though as I am currently facing skin issues that caused me to be grounded. Well though I opt for grounding myself in the very first place...(reason is to treat my skin completely) somehow I am not suppose to be "that" happy right? No flight means no money! I guess the bottom line is health is more important than wealth. Amen.

I just came back from Moscow-Houston and this was my second visit to the two destinations. Regardless of my skin getting more severe throughout the trip, to me it was still a very blessed trip! A 4 sectors flight but I only needed to work 2 sectors and paxing 2 sectors. Moreover the load in YCL was real light. It was just an easy flight and I got the chance to hands on a little in JCL. Paxing 2 sectors was tiring but I am still proud to have watched a few movies in a row i.e. Hachiko the Dog (you will cry like shit), The Incredibles (nice to watch over and over again), Poker King, Alvin & The Chipmunks, God of Gamblers and Fight Back To School (Wow!! Just miss those HKG old movies so much!) Besides the set of crew was very nice and I got to fly with 2 crews that I flew with before and I also got to meet up with my batch boy and another crew friend! Don't know why I just got to share about God with a few people even a passenger! Awesome! Awesome!

This ain't a sightseeing flight anyway. The weather was just too cold for me and I refused to go out in Moscow not just because I was lazy but I didn't want to worsen my skin condition. In Houston, as usual I spent some money shopping! It's truly a shopping paradise! I spent only a few hours in Hollister, Abercrombie, Aeropostale & Sephora and I ended up spending SGD500++! Gosh... Oh Gosh... Hee...and you know what, I got to visit Lakewood Church founded by Pastor Joel Osteen!!! How cool right? I was truly blessed because initially I thought and everybody thought I will not make it to go there because there's no church service on Friday! I was just hoping that they might have some kinda occasions so that I could at least go and have a look. Indeed when I reached the hotel, I checked with the concierge and the lady searched through the internet for me. They have a prayer service every first Friday of the month! And thank God it was the first Friday of the month!!! Hallelujah~!

I took a cab there at night and I was feeling a bit scared because you know, talking about America... people can just do anything to anyone right? Sorry - no hard feelings! And I was also quite afraid that I might meet some kinda cunning cab drivers. I prayed for protection before I go and guess what the driver was simply a nice gentleman! He's a Muslim and we talked a little about religion. He charged me cheaper than the metre and before I alight, he gave me his namecard so that I can call him when I need to return to the hotel. Wow! Praise God man! I was still thinking how am I suppose to get a cab back from there? I went in the church... it's huge! The security wasn't very friendly though. Walked past their bookstore.. wow.. it's huge! I just wished I could go in but it was closed. I met a few friendly brothers and one of them told me it's the biggest church in America! The prayer service started and I submitted my specific prayer request to them. Though I didn't get to meet any of the pastors but I still felt so excited about it.

Their approach is a little different. But one thing that I was quite disappointed was they don't have much attendance for the prayer service and everybody was just so quiet. The room was really dry and the way they pray was kinda conservative as well. Not much of emotions, no prayers aloud, no tongues and no response. I guess they will not sue me for writing this right? Hmm... I was the only Asian in the room and I think I have more fire than them. -lol- But I shall attend their church service before I could really judge. Come on~ I didn't even get to see a pastor ok? But then my friend shared with me that a lot of mega Western churches are going down because of people losing their fire for God. And they need a lot of people like us to be an inspiration and to worship God praise God together with them enthusiastically. Well, I guess God was speaking to me through this experience. To replant my fire for Him, and to entrust my calling that He has given me all along.

Of course I did feel the presence of God! I prayed and prayed.. and my stomach was not feeling very well because I did not eat enough. Just felt like vomitting... but as I prayed for healing suddenly the Holy Spirit just fell unto me and my saliva glands was producing a lot of saliva by itself! I mean I tried to control but a lot of saliva just came out nonstop. I don't know how to describe but eventually I felt much better after swallowing those saliva. Eeww... disgusted? Sorry... =p Furthermore, recently I have been praying for an answer or confirmation I would say and God answered me that night too. Thank you Lord! As I reached Moscow, again I felt demotivated because of my skin issue. I prayed out loud for peace and God just spoke to me through the book of Jeremiah. And I shall end this sharing with these messages:-

Jeremiah 30:10-11 "So do not be afraid, Jacob, my servant; do not be dismayed, Israel," says the Lord. "For I will bring you home again from distant lands, and your children will return from their exile. Israel will return to a life of PEACE and quiet, and no one will terrorize them. For I am with you and will SAVE you," says the Lord. "I will completely destroy the nations where I have scattered you, but I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you, but with justice; I cannot let you go unpunished." AMEN.

My Skin vs My Job

WOW! It's been more than 1 month since my last blog being published. February was a tight month. I gained plenty of experiences but if you ask me to share with you here I could not really recall all of them. Seems like my memory is deteriorating with time but I realised that being forgetful at times can be good too. You feel less tensed 'cause your brain is not overstuffed and keep working non stop. :D Anyway, I definitely have grown stronger and wiser than before! Hallelujah! More blogs are to come because I have plenty of things to share on the revelation and understanding that I gained for the past month. But today I just feel like sharing about my feelings on my skin... It has been troubling me for a while and I know that a lot of people are experiencing the same thing as I do and some can be worse.

Eversince I started flying my skin started to break out. It began from my forehead and then spreaded to my entire face. Some people said it was due to stress. Indeed I was feeling really stressed during my first few months of flying career. Meeting different kinds of weird people sometimes bad people, with the stress of getting your work done in the proper way in not just my own judgement but also in the eyes of many people on board add on to the different weather and time zones in various countries that I fly to. The different timing of my meals, the kind of food that I eat be it aircraft food or outstation food, weird sleeping patterns, cabin pressure, flying here and there all the time. My lifestyle seems to have messed up. I put in a lot of effort to treat my skin eg. seeing a few doctors, trying a few products, facial, spa, Chinese medicine, Western medicine.. I also make sure I have enough rest, eat more healthily, let go of my stress, praying everyday etc. I did recover.. but on and off it comes develop again. A lot of effort has been put and a lot of money has been wasted. And I found out that the main reason is still... flying.

Having this problem makes me feel so demotivated all the time especially in my job. In fact I cried a lot of times due to that. It comes to a point that when people talk to me I am not sure if they are looking at me or are they looking at my skin. It comes to a point that when a stranger look at me is it because they are interested or are they just looking at my skin? I feel bad when I see their eyes looking at my breakouts. I feel even worse when they ask me what is going on with my skin. Then they start to recommend this doctor that doctor, this facial that facial. Worst part is when I meet those "bad" people, they start to give a lot of negative feedbacks and even threatening me that I shall be grounded. I remember there was once an IFS said to me that , "You shouldn't be flying with this skin condition, you will scare the passengers away." WOw! That was hurt! It also comes to a point that I always feel so low in confidence that I don't even dare to look at people face to face even to people very close to me. I don't even have the courage to tell people what am I working as. Guys you may not understand how I truly feel but I guess gals you will tend to stand in my shoes right now imagining how I feel.

Not jus that when I go to very cold countries, my skin tend to be more serious. I sometimes don't even dare to go out first is because I am afraid the weather will make my skin worse and second reason is because I don't feel like letting crews see my skin especially if I were to go out bare face. I start to feel really envious on other people's smooth and clear skin. At the same time I feel really pity those who have the same problem or even worse. I tend to have this habit of acknowledging my problem before people notice it and ask me about it. Because that would at least make me feel better and have the preparation of listening to a lot of comments on my skin. Though some of my friends comfort me by asking me not to care what other people think of me. But can I really do it? I mean can you really do it if you were me? Sometimes it's not about what other people think but it's actually my very own concern on my skin and outlook. It truly affects me a lot to the point that I just wanted to quit flying right now!

It is a tough decision to make as this is my rice bowl for this period of time but yet I know this is the way to really let my skin recover fully. Which do I choose? My skin or my job? Sharing with my close ones about this problem doesn't seem to work anyway. I know that this is not the time to quit yet and so I must get rid of this negative feeling that the devil has been trying to plant in me all the time. Because I actually know the reason behind the breakout it makes my situation better right? The solution is already there; it is just a matter of the perfect timing. So to speak at this moment I gotta look for the good in every circumstance as God has said in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Looking at the bright side, I actually can now write a good article to sell an acne product online. It is not just a test of faith but also a test in my relationship; how true love can withhold no matter how you look on the outside or perhaps if you are having some kind of sickness?

I gotta accept myself and love myself as who I am and not how I look. For in God's eyes, we are all beautiful. He is more concern of our character than our outlook. It is no doubt very challenging but I just want to encourage all who have this problem to not give up and continue to pray for healing. And it also means that we should not be focusing on the healing but the Healer itself which is God our Jehovah Rapha. I am still working on this and I know it is possible. My gal friend once told me if she were me she would have committed suicide! A bit of an exaggeration but it shows that I am actually pretty strong in dealing with this situation. Well, is that a compliment? Haha you bet! The reason I write this blog is not just to vent out my feelings to the world but also to keep reminding myself and you that God is our Healer and as we pray and claim the healing, we are healed in Jesus name. Amen.