Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Caught In Between J & S

I have been a believer for more than 1 and a half year...during this period of time I realised I grew a lot in Christ. Thank God, it is truly His given wisdom, peace and joy which changed my life. For months, I have been experiencing different encounters with Jesus; but undeniably, I have been experiencing a lot of encounters with Satan as well. While some brothers or sisters compliment me... I actually feel ashamed of myself. I am a nobody but just a sinner. And beware of this! This is also a thought and feeling that the devil is trying to plant in you to rob your peace and joy. It is true that the devil likes to trick you and stop you from bringing glory to God; and he is especially concerned when he realised that you are becoming more and more of his enemy.

Well, can you recall those old time movies where they used to feature an angel on the right side of the character's shoulder and a devil on the left side of the shoulder? The angel will instruct you to do the good things while the devil will do the opposite. It is almost like a debate going on between them and you are stuck in the middle listening to the chaos and try to stay focus to come out with a conclusion. So why do I write this blog? It is because I realised when I am caught in a situation, when I am to make a decision, having to differentiate between right and wrong, I find myself caught in between Jesus and Satan. No doubt Jesus way is always the way and is the only way. Amen.

But the challenge here is how do you see clearly His way? How do you win over Satan in this debate? How do you stay firm and act upon it by faith? Until now, frankly speaking this issue has been repeating over and over in my daily life. And I would boldly say sometimes I know I am on the right track, sometimes I am not but the most difficult part is the process of choosing. Most of the time, I stumble; I turn right and left and ended up heading no where. And everytime it left me hanging, filled with sins, guilt, insecurity, worry, fear, the list goes on. Though I face this kind of spiritual attack or shall I describe it as a dilemma?...But yet, I am clear of what is actually going on. It just comes to a point that my very own character, mind and heart are not strong enough to overcome this. Okay I shouldn't say "strong enough" but instead it is the word "stable" or "firm".

I am glad that I am aware of this that is happening in me. And thus, it is important that I need to find a solution to help me stand firm and strong. How I'd realised what I have done all these while is just not enough. I need to do more. As in:

1) Feed myself with the Word of God

2) Meditate on the Word of God

3) Pray in tongues out loud regularly

4) Spend more personal time with the Lord

5) Take ACTIONS to do more of God's works

6) Build more relationships and discuss my problems with other believers

All these seems familiar to me and to you! Gosh...I knew that for so long! But most of the time...I failed to be persistent. But I know I have to be firm and act upon it because I want to make a change. I want to live a righteous life and learn to be more and more like Jesus. I want to build myself better and better so that God can use me mightily to fulfil His will on earth. I want God when He tells Satan about me, He is proud to tell him that "This is my deserving child, I love her and you will not be able to touch her even a single strand of her hair. So I command you to stay away from her!" Hallelujah!

I pray to the Holy Spirit..continue to help me deal with the devil and live in my heart so that I will remain strong. Let my every word, every action, every decision comes from You, my Lord. Amen.