One week has passed so fast like a blink of the eyes. I have so many things to share that I don't know where to start. Things just keep on spinning in my mind for the past few weeks. First let's talk about God's blessing upon me. Eversince I was borned... I have already been so blessed. Borned in an average family with a responsible dad, caring mum, loving sisters... I grew up in a healthy environment with proper parental skills. I've got proper and complete education, I've got a bunch of friends who love me dearly, I'm always prospered with money. Since young there's always inflow of money for me to save. My monthly allowance, my bonus for doing well in exams etc. I got to buy a lot of "rubbish" that I like from the money that I saved. I got scholarship and study loan during my high school and university. I got to make my own money through various part time I worked. As I graduated, I got a well paid and interesting job and now I have a well paid and interesting job too. Wow! Thinking back how could I ever complain about my life? I don't have the rights to complain at all. I'm so blessed right??!!! Praise The Lord!
Money just keep flowing in but because of my "big spender" attitude the money keep flowing back out too. I remembered I used to be an opportunist. Back in university, I often looked out for new opportunities to make money. It was mainly because I know how important money is, how important quality of life is and what exactly a job could give you if you just work and work and work. I am well aware that it will bring me no where. I worked a lot of part times; I was daring enough to ask and fight for what I want. When I saw a camera fair, I would apporach the sales person and asked her to take me in. Whenever there's any MLM advertisement I would make my way to listen, to understand and try out. Unfortunately, frankly speaking, my laziness, lack of determination, easy to give up attitude are the barrier for me to be successful in any of it. Worse thing is my trip to KL made me realised how I have changed to become such a simple minded person. Well, of course simplicity has good and bad. When you are "too simple" you tend to lose your direction and you would just be blindly stuck in the rat race. Last night on the way back to Singapore I listened to a lot of old songs which reminded me of my past. Today, I have been so focused on my job that even the fire and passion in me have almost vanished. I become more serious or mature I would say? Where has my bubbly, cheerful, sporting, passionate character gone? And when I ask myself why? I actually know the answer and I realise I have to revive and make a change!
Reason being is because this job has fulfilled one of my biggest dreams which is to see the world. And I figured out that the workplace actually accumulated inferiority, insecurity and fear in me. All these months I was just so focused on passing my probation, adapting to their culture, dealing with my seniors and leading crews, dealing with my complaints and pre flight depression that I overlooked all the opportunities that by passed me. Is life just about flying? NO. Is life just about seeing the world for 2 years and back to the rat race again? NO. Can I sponsor my family to see the world as well with this job? NO. My friend told me I need to step up a little bit more to see life in a different picture. YES! That's very true. I don't want to be stagnant. I want more and I know I can achieve more! So why would I stop? Isn't the life that I want is a life with freedom, a life with choice? And why am I becoming so serious as I grow older? Why would I care how people judge me? All these while I've been learning to be a better person, a nice person but maybe the direction is not hitting the right point yet. I should set myself free and go all out to be myself and yet a person who is so attractive in terms of my confidence, my personality and great character.
Another reason is well I have to be very honest in this... because I may have been so focused on learning about God and understanding the church I spend most of my time on it and my job and that's all. I wanted to figure out what church is all about, cell group etc. Thank God when I attended a church camp last 2 nights, it make me feel... WOW it's just not complicated at all. Brothers and sisters just gather to play games, to worship setting aside all the pressures in life and just be sporting and enjoy! Praise The Lord that I've been touched at this level. Of course seeking God is the most wonderful thing in the world. But there is a lot of ways, a lot of space, it is flexible! Thank God for giving me this revelation. Because that is not just what He planned for me. He has more things for me. He doesn't want me to stop chasing my dreams. He has given me so much and He wants to me gather all the information, experiences and revelations I have gained and learned to build a stronger character. He wants me to get everything to work together to be a pure child of God. A child that He can use mightily in the marketplace, in the world. God the artist has created me the masterpiece. He provided me with different colours all sorts of colours, combinations whatever I want, whatever I need. He is the provider, the planner.. but it is me myself who decides which colour to put, how many colours and combinations to fill and how beautiful the picture is going to be... Everything lies not just within His power and wisdom, but in my hands and my faith. AMEN!
While I was listening to gospel songs, I wrote this blog, I was filled with passion and the feeling was just so amazing and strong. The power of the Holy Spirit just kept pouring upon me. My final word of the day; My future is so bright, I see the light. Jesus be with me... Hallelujah!!!
Money just keep flowing in but because of my "big spender" attitude the money keep flowing back out too. I remembered I used to be an opportunist. Back in university, I often looked out for new opportunities to make money. It was mainly because I know how important money is, how important quality of life is and what exactly a job could give you if you just work and work and work. I am well aware that it will bring me no where. I worked a lot of part times; I was daring enough to ask and fight for what I want. When I saw a camera fair, I would apporach the sales person and asked her to take me in. Whenever there's any MLM advertisement I would make my way to listen, to understand and try out. Unfortunately, frankly speaking, my laziness, lack of determination, easy to give up attitude are the barrier for me to be successful in any of it. Worse thing is my trip to KL made me realised how I have changed to become such a simple minded person. Well, of course simplicity has good and bad. When you are "too simple" you tend to lose your direction and you would just be blindly stuck in the rat race. Last night on the way back to Singapore I listened to a lot of old songs which reminded me of my past. Today, I have been so focused on my job that even the fire and passion in me have almost vanished. I become more serious or mature I would say? Where has my bubbly, cheerful, sporting, passionate character gone? And when I ask myself why? I actually know the answer and I realise I have to revive and make a change!
Reason being is because this job has fulfilled one of my biggest dreams which is to see the world. And I figured out that the workplace actually accumulated inferiority, insecurity and fear in me. All these months I was just so focused on passing my probation, adapting to their culture, dealing with my seniors and leading crews, dealing with my complaints and pre flight depression that I overlooked all the opportunities that by passed me. Is life just about flying? NO. Is life just about seeing the world for 2 years and back to the rat race again? NO. Can I sponsor my family to see the world as well with this job? NO. My friend told me I need to step up a little bit more to see life in a different picture. YES! That's very true. I don't want to be stagnant. I want more and I know I can achieve more! So why would I stop? Isn't the life that I want is a life with freedom, a life with choice? And why am I becoming so serious as I grow older? Why would I care how people judge me? All these while I've been learning to be a better person, a nice person but maybe the direction is not hitting the right point yet. I should set myself free and go all out to be myself and yet a person who is so attractive in terms of my confidence, my personality and great character.
Another reason is well I have to be very honest in this... because I may have been so focused on learning about God and understanding the church I spend most of my time on it and my job and that's all. I wanted to figure out what church is all about, cell group etc. Thank God when I attended a church camp last 2 nights, it make me feel... WOW it's just not complicated at all. Brothers and sisters just gather to play games, to worship setting aside all the pressures in life and just be sporting and enjoy! Praise The Lord that I've been touched at this level. Of course seeking God is the most wonderful thing in the world. But there is a lot of ways, a lot of space, it is flexible! Thank God for giving me this revelation. Because that is not just what He planned for me. He has more things for me. He doesn't want me to stop chasing my dreams. He has given me so much and He wants to me gather all the information, experiences and revelations I have gained and learned to build a stronger character. He wants me to get everything to work together to be a pure child of God. A child that He can use mightily in the marketplace, in the world. God the artist has created me the masterpiece. He provided me with different colours all sorts of colours, combinations whatever I want, whatever I need. He is the provider, the planner.. but it is me myself who decides which colour to put, how many colours and combinations to fill and how beautiful the picture is going to be... Everything lies not just within His power and wisdom, but in my hands and my faith. AMEN!
While I was listening to gospel songs, I wrote this blog, I was filled with passion and the feeling was just so amazing and strong. The power of the Holy Spirit just kept pouring upon me. My final word of the day; My future is so bright, I see the light. Jesus be with me... Hallelujah!!!
Dear u insipire me too!!!!! U're right...we're too stagnant...we can achieve more than this!!!! Let's do it....^_^
ReplyDeletechase it..is not far when ur decision had been made!so toych after reading ur blog..a very different person that i think when i first saw u :>
ReplyDelete